Your First Dance

Of all the wedding day rituals, the first dance as a newly married couple is perhaps, the sweetest. It reminds us all of the promise that having a lifetime partner holds and recalls our thoughts of romance and permanence. Of course, it can also be a source of stress for the couple involved if they have not spent any time preparing beforehand. Partner dancing is a skill like any other and with a minimum of practice and preparation, any couple can take the spotlight with confidence and grace on their big day. So, how should you prepare? What are your options and where do you start? Here are some tips and suggestions that will help you make this moment fun and special.

Have you chosen a song for your first dance?
If you have not yet chosen a song, you may want to consider what type of dance you would like to do and work backwards from there. Would you want the classic romance of a waltz, or would you prefer a relaxed and jazzy foxtrot? Maybe the exuberant energy of a swing dance or the intensity of an Argentine Tango is more your style. If you enjoy Latin rhythms you may like a slow rumba or a lively salsa. A simple slow dance is always an option. Please keep in mind that some dance styles are easier to learn than others, so time may be a factor in your decision.

Will the band be playing your song or will you be dancing to a recording?
This decision will also affect what song you choose. Standards such as "Our Love is Here to Stay", "It Had to be You", and "Time after Time" are songs that every jazz band should be able to play for you if you let them know in advance. The bandleader should also be told what tempo to play the song and for what length of time. If you have been practicing to a certain recording of your song, be sure to make a copy for your bandleader so that he/she understands exactly what type of arrangement and feeling you are expecting. The same song may be played in many different ways, so it is important to communicate to avoid surprises on your wedding day.

How will your first dance begin and end?
Your bandleader or DJ can call you out to the dance floor and announce your first dance. Traditionally the father of the bride will eventually cut in and dance with his daughter (this may be done to a new song or during the original song), at which point the groom may ask the bride's mother to dance. Then the groom's father may dance with the bride, at which time the bride's father may cut in on his wife and the groom. The groom may then ask his mother to dance. Additionally the groom may dance with the maid of honor and the bride with the best man, while the in laws dance with each other. Finally the entire wedding party, and then the guests may join in the dancing. As the wedding couple you must decide before the ceremony which part of this traditional order you would like to follow, if any. This is only a guide and it is your choice who to involve in the dancing. It is important to notify the individuals that you want to participate, and instruct them as to when they should join the dance, and with whom they should dance. Depending on how many people will eventually be dancing, you may have to select an additional song or songs for everyone to dance to.

Your First Dance should be one of the many beautiful memories of your wedding day. By preparing in advance you will be able to relax and have fun with each other, enjoying your moment.